Owls

Owls. They're cute, they're smart, and they're in-style.

Ahem, uh...your tailfeathers are showing...

So you think YOU like owls? Trust me, there will always somebody who likes owls more...

"Hoo" says you get wiser with age?

But why are people so fond of these wise old birds? It can't possibly be because of their diets, as owls are raptors, and are responsible for ridding the world of all things cute and fuzzy. From kangaroo rats, to jerboas, to little baby bunnies.

How could anyone eat the likes of me? I'm the cutest parts of all the animals put into one tiny package!

But, but, there'll be no more EASTER!

We imagine, as we watch them rip off tiny fuzzy bunny heads and swallow them whole, that there's got to be something more to these ferocious creatures.

Well, for one, owls are just plain cool. One of the largest owl species, the Great Grey Owl, has a wingspan of up to 5 feet. Yet they sneak right upon their prey (most of who have exellent hearing, I might add) completely silently.

Along with being one of the largest owl species, this owl may quite possibly have the fuzziest of all feet. 

And who could resist the upside-down head of a burrowing owl?

Burrowing owls often live in underground dens which once belonged to badgers or rabbits. With a little digging and renovation, they make perfect homes in which to raise a line of upside-down headed young.

And then there's the pygmy owl. Enough said.

Did you know a group of owls is called a Parliament?

Artwork © 2010, Scott Gustafson

My falconer friend Shawn owns a Great Horned Owl of his own. Contrary to popular folklore, his owl is not a harbinger of death.

I am a harbinger of cuddles

Since ancient times, people have owned owls. Athena, Greek goddess of wisdom, war, and the night, had a Little Owl. Accompanying her on her shoulder, the owl revealed unseen truths to her, and had the ability to light up Athena's blind side, enabling her to speak the whole truth, as opposed to only a half truth.

Hey Athena, wanna know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop? ©2004 Thalia Took

Unfortunately, this picture of a baby barn owl could ruin the owl's image for everyone.

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's...alien devil baby!

And this owlet recently discovered in the Andean mountains of Peru is also a bit scary.

Lady Gaga told me it was okay cuz I was born this way. She also did my hair.

But for the most part, owls do receive the recognition they deserve for their beauty and splendor.

There's even a butterfly that wants to be an owl. Appropriately named the Owl Butterfly, this dainty devil scares off predators by by flaunting its owl-like wings. I saw many of these beauties when visiting tropical countries like Costa Rica, Belize and Brazil.

Upon compilation of these facts, we can conclude that being human is tough. Everyone should just be an owl.

Click here to discover the truth about owls...

This blog is dedicated to my good friend Shelly, who now loves owls as much as I do.